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Having a Child Free Wedding

A child free wedding is a topic that always generates lots of discussion and opinions.  There are various reasons you may choose not to invite children.

You may just not want any children there, you may not have space or budget may be the deciding factor.Having a Child Free Wedding

I always tell couples to have the wedding day that you want.  So if you want a child free wedding for whatever reason, then that is absolutely your decision.

But you need to be considerate about how you manage this.  Some parents may see this as a rejection of their children and I’m assuming you don’t really want to fall out with your family or friends before your wedding.

So there are a few things I would like to suggest you consider to make it as straightforward as possible for you and your guests.


Tell People Early

You need to tell your guests as soon as possible if you won’t be inviting children.  People generally assume that their children will be included in the invite.

So by telling them early, you’re giving them plenty of time to make suitable arrangements for childcare.    Ideally, this will be at the time you send your Save Your Dates.

You’re also avoiding children being excited about the wedding, only to find out when the invites go out, that they’re actually not invited.


Make it Really Clear

If you only have a few families with children it’s probably worth speaking to them individually to explain.

Addressing the invitation to Mr & Mrs Smith probably isn’t enough. Quite often the envelope has been thrown away.   And families are used to receiving mail addressed as a couple rather than to all of them.

Many RSVPS come back with the kids names added on.   And then you’ve got an even more difficult situation to go back to them to tell them the children aren’t invited.

If you haven’t told families individually beforehand, then it’s worth including a little note to explain that it’s an adult only wedding and that you hope that they will still be able to share your day with you.


Be Prepared for Reactions

Some parents will be happy to have a day out without their children but you have to be prepared for some to be less so.

You may find that some people will refuse to come to your wedding if they can’t bring their children.

It may seem extreme but I have seen this happen.  And they were close family members who didn’t attend the wedding, so you have to be ready for this to happen.


Bride preparing to throw her bouquet

Any exceptions?

You need to think upfront about what exceptions you’re happy to make.

Some couples choose to invite ‘immediate family children’ only or children over 14 for example.  If you go down this route, again expect some reactions but just be clear about where the boundaries are and why.

You may have a few children in your wedding party, such as flower girls and/or pageboys.   Then you’re going to include them in the rest of your day.

The other scenario to consider carefully is new born babies.  A new mother, especially one who is breastfeeding, is really going to struggle to spend a full day away from their baby.

Also be prepared for someone’s childcare arrangements to fail at the last minute.  In this scenario, do you want to let the children come along rather than their parents miss your wedding.

Think about these scenarios before you make any final decisions and be prepared for how you will deal with changes before your wedding day.


Could You Provide Childcare?

There are some fantastic childcare companies who will come in and run a creche for the children of your guests.

If you have a lot of guests who will be travelling to the wedding and maybe staying overnight, then this might be a good solution for everyone.   Overnight childcare is much more difficult to arrange so this could mean your guests can still attend and you can have your child free day.

So remember, this is a topic that many people have strong opinions on and you’ll never please everyone.


Louise Wearmouth, Bespoke Wedding Planner

But whatever you decide I hope you have an amazing day.  Remember if you need support with any aspect of your wedding planning, I can help you.  So get in touch to see how I can help you, I’d love to hear from you.


Louise Wearmouth, Founder of Your Fabulous Wedding