Couples often ask about wedding etiquette for stationery, things like invitations and thank you cards. Many of these traditions are changing but it’s still useful info when you’re planning your own wedding.
This is part of a series of blogs covering traditional wedding etiquette.
This is quite often the first source of disagreement in families during their wedding planning. Traditionally, wedding invitations were sent from the bride’s parents. This is because they would be paying for the wedding and were therefore the hosts.
Obviously things have changed a lot here with many couples paying for their own wedding now. So what do you do?
Generally, the invite should be sent from whoever is paying for the wedding.
However, if a number of people are contributing to the cost, it may be safer to avoid saying anything on the invite. Instead you could use wording such as:
Your company is requested at the wedding of ……
You are invited to the wedding of ……
There are lots of different wording samples available online to help you here.
Wedding etiquette states that invites should be sent 8 weeks before the wedding date. Generally, couples send them much earlier now to ensure busy diaries can be kept free.
Etiquette says a gift list should never be included with a wedding invitation. These days it’s considered the norm to include information about this in the invite. Most wedding guests want to buy a gift and providing this info upfront makes it easier for you and your guests as the wedding gets closer.
Please make sure you use sensitive wording, especially if you want to ask for money.
Personally, I think it’s a good idea to have a few traditional presents on your list as I find that older guests still prefer to choose a gift. Prezola is a good option for this as their lists can have a mixture of cash, presents and contributions to your honeymoon.
If the bride’s parents are footing the bill, they will usually expect to have a big say about who makes it onto the list. This is still a difficult area for many couples and whoever is paying will likely still want to influence this. (and even if they’re not paying!)
My previous blog has more info on this so well worth a read if you need some help here.
RSVPs would traditionally be posted to the bride’s mum (as she would be ‘hosting’ the wedding). Nowadays you can obviously have them sent to whoever is willing to do this for you!
Always make sure you put a date on the invitations for replies to be received by. And make sure it’s earlier than you actually need them.
If you have a wedding planner, this is usually a service that they will be happy to undertake for you. This will also include chasing the people who don’t reply by the given date (and there are always some!)
Thank you Cards
For me this is still a must do.
You need to thank everyone who made an impact on your big day. So that includes your guests and the people who helped you with any element of the day. Don’t forget your suppliers too – there’s nothing nicer than receiving a lovely thank you note after the wedding.
Ideally Thank You cards should be handwritten and personalised and should be sent within 3 months of your wedding.
Watch out for the next blog in this series where we’ll talk about wedding etiquette for the ceremony and reception.
P.S Please note: This post contains an affiliate link. This means that if you click on the Prezola link and then set up your list with them, I’ll receive a small commission at no extra cost to you.